According to Joseph Grenny, co-author of the New York Times bestselling book Crucial Conversations, arguing is a healthy part of a long-term relationship. In fact, couples who argue tend to be about 10 times more likely to stay together than those who never argue, which means I should be with my partner for about 10 years after we’re both dead, I guess. But it’s the quality of the arguments that is really the important part of the equation here. And arguing well is not as easy as some might assume it would be. A survey of 1,000 adults conducted by Grenny found that four out of five respondents cited poor communication as one of the main reasons for a failed previous relationship, but less than one in five considered themselves to be at fault in the breakdown of communication.