CrucialSkills, the official VitalSmarts blog
Helping you change behavior by answering your questions about soft skills.
Dear Joseph, How should I respectfully approach a co-worker about her pungent perfume? I can tell she’s been down the hall even after she’s been gone for five or ten minutes. The scent lingers and is foul to me; after encountering it I begin to feel nauseous. She’s a very […]
Dear Scott, I am in the process of training a coworker. When I give her an assignment, she gives me a snarky reason why she can’t do it. I have been trying to help her with time-management. When I give reasons for what I am asking, she says I’m mothering […]
Dear Joseph, What had the biggest impact on you writing Crucial Conversations? Signed, Backstory Dear Backstory, Thanks for asking! Your question gave me a chance to walk down memory lane. The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Looking back, […]
Dear Justin, In our organization we are meeting more than ever but our meeting effectiveness is down dramatically. The issues we see include: No clear direction Too much time spent ranting or venting Less listening and more talking Stuff not getting done How do we get to effective and efficient […]
Dear Emily, I am a single adult woman who wants to do her work and work well with others. However, because of my single status, my workplace culture, and local culture, my sense of self-worth is getting bruised. For example, a number of male colleagues have explicitly told me that […]
Dear Joseph, I have a dear male friend. We are romantically involved in a long-distance relationship across different time zones. Our main means of communication are texting and phone, or video talking. We usually talk one to two hours a day—late at night for him, and after work for me. […]
Dear Emily, I have been living with my roommate and good friend for a couple of years now. We have had several trust issues in the past but have been able to resolve them after long and emotional conversations. However, recently she broke my trust and I don’t want to […]
Dear Steve, What do you do when respect is violated time and time again? I have revisited mutual purpose with a peer, but we always end up in the same loop: I feel disrespected and dialogue comes to “a screeching halt.” Because of the disrespect, I go to silence and […]
