Community QA

Community Q&A: Making His Ex-Wife Feel Safe

To help more of our readers with their crucial conversations, confrontations, and behavior change challenges, we recently introduced our new Community Q&A column! Please share your answers to this reader’s question in the comments below.

Q Dear Crucial Skills,

When I began dating my husband five years ago, his kids and I hit it off right away and I even had a friendly relationship with his ex-wife . . . at first. After we got engaged things changed. The stronger my relationship became with the kids, the more she seemed to look for reasons to attack me.

I have attempted to explain that I am not trying to replace her, but that I truly love her kids and want them to feel at home when they are at our house (we have 50/50 custody). She seems fine after we talk, but then she either ignores me or has a big, dramatic outburst and accuses me of trying to be their mom. I reached my breaking point when she chewed me out in front of the kids at a Little League game last week.

How do I help her see that I only want what is best for the kids?

Keeping the Peace