Bad news—nobody likes receiving it. Giving bad news to others can be equally troublesome, particularly when they hold you responsible for the bad news—even if you’re not. What do you do when the person on the receiving end becomes upset and starts to take it out on you, the messenger?
1. Don’t Play “What’s Wrong with Them?” Get over the fact that people blame you when they have no right to do so. To avoid responding with anger, say to yourself, “These are people under stress, and it’s my job to help them through this.” This perspective will help move you away from acting superior or defensive.
2. Share the Pain. When people hear bad news, they start responding with strong emotions and weak thinking. Acknowledge their pain. Express your honest concern. “I’m sorry, this must be a big blow for you.” When someone is upset they want sympathy, not a lecture.
3. Actively Listen. To let people know that you’re listening to their concerns, don’t jump in with quick answers or corrections to their false statements. Instead, paraphrase in your own words what they just said. Do this to ensure you know their concerns, as well as to let them know you’re trying to understand them.
4. Keep Focused. Finally, remember what you want out of each conversation. Your goal is to keep a healthy and long-term relationship, not win or disprove the other person’s point of view.
Once you’ve worked on yourself, shared your concern, actively listened, and done your best to stay focused, you’ve earned the right to share your views.
