We're pleased to announce the grand prize winner of our "Unruly Relative" contest: Christine Voegele. Christine won an iPod® Nano pre-loaded with the audio version of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

New Fiancée and Wine Don’t Mix
"This story once again confirms that alcohol, holidays, religion and politics do not mix! My oldest brother asked his girlfriend to marry him the weekend before Thanksgiving. His fiancée and her parents came to Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house. I guess she was nervous and drank too much wine. Unfortunately with clouded judgment she began making derogatory comments about my family's political and religious beliefs. She did not let anyone else say anything—keeping them quiet by saying, "Zip it! Zip it!" and motioning with her hands. My father was caught off guard by her comments, and at first he tried to point out errors in what she was discussing as fact. He realized that was a mistake and tried to let her know that different beliefs are okay. Her parents tried to change the topic, but with no luck. Unfortunately, my other brother decided it was a good time to take the discussions further and debate them, which made things worse. Needless to say, this year's celebration will not be forgotten. Her parents left mad at her. The rest of us felt bad for her. I hope Christmas goes better!"

Christine Voegele
Cincinnati, OH

1st RUNNER UP: Assault and Battery?
"This past Thanksgiving, my Grandpa's friend and neighbor decided to check him out of an assisted living facility and take him back to his old house. Relatives agreed to meet for dinner at the old homestead. Grandpa has a habit of being stubborn, and when it was time for everyone to leave he planted himself on the floor of the living room and announced he was not leaving. When it was plain to see that nothing was going to budge him, one more attempt was made by trying to pull him up from the floor. When he was up on his feet, he lifted his cane over his head and brought it down on his son's head. His son was so shocked he tackled him, causing a fall that bumped Grandpa's head. Grandpa wailed for his lawyer, the police, and an ambulance. Everyone was in shock. It all happened so fast. The police did come with the ambulance and Grandpa was taken back to his facility while the guests stood watching his son placed in a police car. No charges were pressed. This was already a stressful day as Grandpa is hard of hearing and confused most of the time, which is the reason for assisted living. For many years we have visited Grandpa in his other home and from now on, that is how it has to be."

Marcia Caliteri
Vista, CA

2nd RUNNER UP: Ringside Seats
"I have been divorced for almost 11 years and have two adult daughters. This Thanksgiving one of my daughters prepared the Thanksgiving meal and invited the entire family, including myself and my ex-husband (their father). We have been at functions together before, and for the most part we have made it work for the kids. This time was different. During the meal my ex-husband began to be loud and obnoxious, spouting out racial slurs—which he knows infuriates all of us. He was asked by my daughter to stop, which he failed to do. Dinner was ruined. He continued to poke fun at the grandchildren, insulted me in front of the kids, and even used profanity toward me. He then proceeded to light up a cigarette when he knew that smoking was not allowed in the house. He was escorted by my daughter out to the patio to smoke. He then got into a verbal fight with my son-in-law over politics, which led to fists being thrown! This was all witnessed by six precious grandchildren. He was restrained by the other son-in-law and led out of the house by my daughters. Needless to say it will be a long time before he is invited back."

Ringside Referee
Ankeny, IA

3rd RUNNER UP: Daddy’s New Girlfriend
"Earlier this year, my husband of 15 years got involved with another woman, and after an extensive emotional roller coaster, we separated in July. We live in New Zealand. The woman he became involved with lives in Texas. In July he moved to Texas. This Christmas, both my ex-husband and his new partner are coming to New Zealand to spend Christmas with our four young children and me. Needless to say, they will be spending much of their time at my house and there are lots of crucial conversations to be had—mostly with the children, preparing them to meet, accept, and have a good time with Daddy's new girlfriend, two days before Christmas! There are also the conversations that will no doubt take place between the girlfriend and me. I don't want animosity in my house around what should be the happiest day of the year."

A.Gough
Wanganui, New Zealand

4th RUNNER UP: Unwelcome Spouse
"In the past, my siblings and their families exchanged gifts on Christmas morning. Since the passing of our parents, this is a tradition we carry on. On Christmas morning several years ago, my husband and I drove to my brother's home for our gift exchange with the family. After the exchange, we went home, to return later for the "annual family Christmas party." Shortly after we arrived that evening, my sister came to me and told me that my brother wanted to talk to me. I found him outside grilling a turkey. and he said, "Uncle Bob and Uncle Ed are really offended that Jack (my husband) is here." I was dumbfounded. He basically told me Jack wasn't welcome and we "needed to leave." I was truly in shock, went back into the house, gathered our coats, and told Jack we needed to go. I couldn't say much, and I wanted to be discreet. I'll never forget the look on Jack's face or the pain in my heart.

You see, I've been married for ten years to a wonderful man who just happens to be of a different race. I have and will continue to have "crucial confrontations" with my immediate family regarding our relationship. However, I'm happy and proud to say that we have weathered the storms and those confrontations have lessened over the years. It truly has affected how I react and relate to people. My uncle still did not speak to me, or acknowledge my presence, ever. It's the weirdest feeling . . . being invisible! While my family still has their issues, I have a cordial relationship with them. Sadly, my uncle passed away this year and I didn't get to say goodbye. I just pray that his soul finds peace.

Mary Johnson
Dearborn, MI

HONORABLE MENTION: Old Flame at Christmas
"Several years ago, my husband's brother had a new roommate that I had dated a couple of times as a teenager. At Christmas one year, my husband realized the connection and showed up with this friend at dinner! The problem was, this guy was slightly drunk and obnoxious! And I was NOT happy to see him. He ran right over to me, grabbed me and hugged me! Apparently my husband enjoys playing mind games, and he brought this guy over purposely to see what would happen. Well, what happened was not pretty. It turns out my mother WAS happy to see him. Before we even got to the dinner table, my mother and this guy were all over each other in a fairly indecent way.

She ended up seeing the guy for a while, even though he was abusive and had been in trouble for domestic violence before. This incident almost ended my marriage and did serious damage to my relationship with my mother, with whom I did not spend another holiday for many years. I was able to communicate to my husband that I would NOT tolerate that kind of game, and he has mostly reformed, but I've never been able to really talk to my mother about it.

Lisa Roman
Moab, UT

HONORABLE MENTION: Rude Father-in-Law
"Last Christmas, I decided that I would hold Christmas at our house instead of dragging my boys from house to house. I invited both sets of Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and a neighbor. As soon as my father-in-law walked in the door, he began making rude remarks about the entire family. He then noticed my neighbor was six months pregnant and began to make remarks about her breast size and how happy her husband must be—then he patted her on the buttocks! Needless to say, they left. Then he asked my sister-in-law if she was pregnant yet—she's been trying for years. He asked her what the problem was in front of the remaining guests. She burst into tears and ran out of the house with her husband. My husband lost it and kicked his own father out of our house. Sadly enough, to this day he still can't understand why we kicked him out.

Amber Gipson
Parker, CO