“There's as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something.”
- Trammell Crow

RE: "Protecing Your Privacy" (October 1, 2008)

I didn’t love the answer from Al Switzler. As far as medical issues, a boss may not pry due to HIPAA rulings unless the staff person wants them to know the issues. If my boss wanted to increase my medical coverage, I’d jump for joy—millions of Americans have no coverage at all.

As far as the real estate issue, I think this shows that the boss cares about the employee and wants her to find a place with an easy commute. Maybe the boss lives nearby and knows the areas that offer the best services and are the safest; such information would be helpful. The boss does not sound like an ogre. A simple request from the staffer such as “Please, this is a matter that I must take care of myself” would suffice. I think the staff person needs to relax. The boss doesn’t have to know the staff person’s personal business, but once in a while, it is good for building relationships to have an informal chat with a supervisor.

Barbara B.

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RE: "Weighing Your Options" (October 8, 2008)

I have just finished reading your advice to "What Next" regarding the abusive behavior of a bad boss. You have given the staff a few options to deal with this situation, but no repercussions for the "bad boss." How can you condone this behavior as something the CEO and HR should not have to address and how does a boss just get to behave in such a manner while the staff remains fearful of speaking up and losing their jobs? Not one of them should be fearing for his/her job, nor should they have to remain quiet and deal. Either the boss changes his behavior or the staff should be filing for a hostile work environment.

Are you watching the news and seeing what an entire group of high powered, highly paid bosses have done to this country's finances? And now we, the constituents are going to pay for their abuses and bad behavior. I don't think dealing with the situation or finding another place to work is the answer. I think it is time for the bosses to leave and find another place to work, because we are done with bad and abusive behaviors.
 
An advocate for change

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Response from Joseph Grenny:

Dear Advocate for Change,

It seems like I did not express myself well. I’m sorry to have done so because I don’t see the problem any differently than you. Sounds like you got from my response that I don’t believe the company should suffer for their neglect, or that the boss is in the wrong. Let me be clear—the company deserves to suffer and the boss appears to be very much in the wrong. You and I see that exactly the same.
 
Here’s where you and I may see it differently. This was an employee asking me for help on how to respond. The employee and coworkers had—if I understood the situation correctly—exhausted any options with both HR and the CEO. That leaves no other options inside the company. Perhaps I should have added that if the behavior is “legally” abusive, he or she should pursue legal options after leaving the company. I endorse this kind of measure to hold the organization accountable.

In my opinion, the most profound and immediate price a company pays for its injustice and insensitivity is the loss of good employees. If it were me, I'd take option #4 which was to ensure I had a good escape plan, then confront the boss, HR, and CEO with the bad behavior and explain I will be leaving if change does not occur (meaning firing the boss or influencing change in short order). I believe this option is the most potent expression of power an employee can exert. And I believe far too few employees exert their full power in this way.

So—I think we agree on the need for a potent response. Perhaps you see other options. If you can specify them, I’d love to add them to the list as the questioner seemed very open to suggestions.

Sincerely,
Joseph

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RE: "Administering an Attitude Check" (October 15, 2008)

If I  didn’t know better I would swear this is from my old boss. I heard your message and agree with all of it. I would like to mention that in my case, I felt “labeled” with this behavior and whenever a situation arose, I became very defensive of my actions. It was horrible. 

I am no longer working there (imagine that) but have dealt with this ego crushing situation by working on myself. My friend and mentor suggested I listen to several self help books and I have been working on myself for the last eleven months with the advice found in these books. I do not have a negative label at my new job. In fact, my boss has told me I am the most positive person she knows. This self-work has changed my life professionally and personally. Today, I am able to choose to have a good day and am much happier. In addition, I am trying to get in touch with my old boss to thank her for firing me! I would not have reached my personal goals without this situation.

Kelly S.

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RE: "Memoirs of a Professional Trick-or-Treater" (October 22, 2008)

I always enjoy reading Kerrying On. You have a wonderful gift for writing in a way I can really relate to. Thank you for your "Memoirs of a Professional Trick-or-Treater." I suppose I have never really thought about how important it is that those we work with, as well as our family and friends, see us as human—someone who also makes mistakes and who can laugh at ourselves. I find it ironic that in order to fully gain the cooperation, trust, and love of those around us, we must show some vulnerability (and a sense of humor about it). Yet, when I reflect on my life experiences, it is true.

Thank you for your well-written message.  It was simple, yet deeply profound!

Cleon L.

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