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Re: “Too Much Overtime” (April 5, 2006)

I wished I had read this week’s answer three jobs ago. In the fast-paced world of software development, it is very easy to end up working for a company that does chew up and spit out employees. In my last job, I worked eighty-hour weeks for three straight months and then ended up coming in during my vacation. The company did not willingly give me time off to be with my son after an accident requiring the left side of his face to be rebuilt.

The hardest part of the issue is that for so many of us geeks, we get lost in the work—the joy of learning and exploring—and put in the hours without considering the toll it takes on us physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Nor do we consider the impact on our families until it is almost too late.

Thank you for your wisdom.

Mary Kay W.

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I like the advice given to the Worried Contract regarding how to approach the employer; however, I think that "Worried" should know a little bit more about exempt and non-exempt employment status.

Salaried (exempt) workers are not paid for quantity or quality of work; rather, they are paid for what they know. If the employer asks the employee to work unreasonable hours and excessive overtime, it could be argued that the employer is actually working the salaried employee in an hourly manner.

I have seen cases where the Department of Labor has found that when employers work individuals in an hourly manner, they lose the ability to classify the work as exempt. The protections provided to non-exempt employees cannot, as I understand them, be waived by contract.

Therefore, one would assume that the employer is aware of this fact and would not take advantage of the individual signing the contract. However, if that did occur the employee would have recourse if the test for exempt employment was not met.

Sincerely,

Stephanie T.

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Re: "Custody Case" (April 12, 2006)

Concerning "Custody Case," I might add that there are mediation centers around the U.S. that do a lot of "parenting plans" that deal with situations exactly like the one this lady describes. Being a trained mediator myself, I find that this type of setting is very conducive to working out different parenting plans that are mutually satisfying to both parties (much better than having a court tell you how to do it). The cost for using mediation centers is very reasonable.

Thanks,

Herb

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Dear Joseph:

I just read your advice to the woman who is challenged by the custody issue with her husband. I just want to express to you that I think your advice was really good. Luckily, I have not had to go through such an experience, but know others who have. Your advice included aspects of finding the right conversation/stating the problem, and this is so important when there are powerful emotions at play. Anyway, I appreciate these newsletters!

My best,

Carol W.

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Re: "How to Ask for a Raise" (April 19, 2006)

Dear Ron,

I read your article about asking for a raise and thought that you gave some good advice. I often cover this issue in seminars that are targeted for corporate financial managers. A suggestion for next time you cover this topic is to go into a little more detail about the "presenting the facts". Specifically, people who study salary negotiations almost universally recommend going into the negotiation with well-research salary survey data documenting what other people get paid for similar jobs, preferable in similar companies in the same geographic region.

Beyond this advice, I usually advise participants to seek a 75th percentile wage. The reason for this is that no manager wants to think that they hire below average people; thus 50 percent should be the absolute floor for most salary discussions.

John

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Re: "Kerrying On: The Marshmallow Massacre" (April 19, 2006)

This article really hits home. As a nurse manager, I struggle to know what kind of recognition to give to my staff. I try to get to know my staff and know what is meaningful to them. The majority of my staff would like to receive intangibles (e.g., respect, giving them time to attend educational inservices, being flexible in schedules, etc.). My goal is to give a meaningful recognition not based on the budget given to me by my administration.

Thank you very much for this article.

Vivien C., RN,BSN

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I am delighted to open my e-mail to find your words of wisdom, and I look forward to each newsletter. I have nothing to criticize, just one note of caution.

The "old fashioned marshmallow game" mentioned in your column is actually responsible for a number of deaths, including a second grade girl who died at school when a teacher unwittingly challenged students to a similar game.

My first reaction to hearing of this tragedy was to consider the teacher a complete idiot. In truth, she is probably a wonderful person who will never forgive herself for lacking this information: Marshmallows easily fill the airway of a child, and because they expand with moisture and warmth and become sticky, they are difficult, if not impossible, to dislodge.

Perhaps it is because I am a mother and have been an elementary teacher, an RN, and a CPR instructor that I see potential danger in situations where others see none.

I think a "Don't try this at home!" warning to your readers might be appropriate. Although the story you told would make most readers shy away from the game, I would bet there are others who will try it at their next child's birthday party.

Thank you,

Patty