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CRUCIAL™ SKILLS REMINDER
May 4, 2005
Volume 3, Issue 17
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IN THIS ISSUE

1. Quote of the Week
2. Tip of the Week
3. Contest: Do You Get the Vacation Time You Deserve?
4. Q&A: Letting a Valued Employee Go
5. Send Your Questions
6. Where Can I Learn More?

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1. Quote of the Week
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“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

William James

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2. Tip of the Week
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Explore Others’ Paths by Asking

When others are clearly in silence or violence, we can return to dialogue by encouraging them to share the facts behind their stories and emotions. Try the following “power listening” skill to help others share the source of their emotions: Ask.

Sometimes all it takes to make it safe for others to speak is to simply ask them to share. It’s embarrassingly simple, but can instantly end a standoff where both people are talking and no one is listening. It can also bring someone out of silence. Asking builds safety by showing genuine interest. For example, try any of the following:

“What’s going on?”

“I’d really like to hear from you.”

“Please let me know if you see it differently.”

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3. Contest: Do You Get the Vacation Time You Deserve?
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With summer vacations approaching, how comfortable do you feel asking for time off work? Research has shown that 63 percent of Americans work more than 40 hours per week, and we hand back more than $21 billion dollars in unused vacation days to employers each year.

Share with us your stories of how a crucial conversation with a manager or boss impacted your vacation time (or lack thereof). Did the conversation go well? Why not? What would you have changed? If it produced successful results, what were they and how did you do it?

E-mail your brief anecdotes to editor@vitalsmarts.com. The winner may get their story published in an upcoming newsletter and receive a free Crucial Conversations Audio CD Companion, as well as a signed copy of one of our bestselling books. Please include your contact information (name, address, e-mail, phone number).

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4. Q&A: Letting a Valued Employee Go
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Dear Authors

What does a manager do when a job has outgrown the employee? In this age of rapid growth, often the job a person was hired to do is no longer what the organization needs. In a large organization there may be some other positions to move someone into. In a small nonprofit there are only a few jobs and each one needs to be done well. The person is a good person, well-meaning, doing what they were hired to do, loyal to the organization--but not able to ramp up to meet new demands. This seems to happen not infrequently--at least in the nonprofits I work with.

Signed,

Apprehensive

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Answer by Kerry Patterson, coauthor of "Crucial Conversations" and “Crucial Confrontations”

Dear Apprehensive,

You raise an incredibly important issue--one that strikes at the heart of many contemporary complaints. In the view of an increasing number of people, companies no longer show loyalty to their employees. Nowadays it’s all about profits. Show a minor weakness and bang!--you’re cut from the rolls. And heaven forbid that a company’s needs should change and now your skill set no longer fits the company’s need set. Bye bye.

The sensitive human inside us cries that this seemingly cavalier attitude is bad and wrong. If employees demonstrate their loyalty by giving it their best effort, then a company should be equally loyal. In fact, that was how successful companies used to recruit and maintain their loyal staff. They offered lifetime employment and received incredible loyalty in return. Shouldn’t we continue to do the same?

Let me deal with a couple of false assumptions. First, the idea that a company needs to offer lifetime employment is not only wrong, it’s dangerous. If people no longer fit and can’t be retooled to fit, they add unnecessary costs, putting everyone at risk. I once consulted with a company that was so dedicated to keeping everyone around that people constantly complained of “dead wood.” Either people had become obsolete and simply couldn’t carry their load or were burned out and WOULDN’T carry their load. In either case, people tired of carrying them on their payroll and found it very difficult to keep their costs competitive. This issue alone very nearly bankrupted the company.

Second, the assumption that companies need to provide people with a safe harbor can be patronizing and insulting. If we’re scared to death of letting people go for what we might consider to be humanitarian reasons, then we’re assuming that the person will not be able to find an equally good job and we need to care for them. In truth, in some cases being let go is the best thing that can happen to an employee. People now find a job to which their talents are better suited, they make a stronger contribution, feel better about themselves, and often are financially benefited. When I’ve seen people get let go I’ve always felt bad about the loss of the relationship but have assumed that they will land on their feet.

I know this can sound like I’m turning a blind eye to disaster, but let’s imagine that the person does find a job but with lesser pay--as is sometimes the case. Now how should we feel? Nobody wants to see a friend suffer, but creating circumstances where people are now in jobs that better suit their talents is always superior from a work perspective. And when it comes to the money, companies can ill afford to play the role of humanitarian or government services. At some point you have to return to the strict business model and ask what best serves all of your stakeholders--from other employees to customers to share owners. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Now, let’s move to the more practical side. If people do become functionally obsolete for any of a dozen different reasons, it does make sense to do your best to help them find a position either by matching them to a better job within the company or helping them retool. Frankly, most companies put more energy into trying to help people find an internal position than they do in trying to help them retool. If you want to look at the limit case, I once worked on a project with engineers and scientists who had spent their careers studying magnetics only to learn that lasers were their company’s future solution. They were then given two years to come up to speed on lasers. The company executives were so amazingly gracious because they had a fifteen year relationship with these talented scientists and were willing to invest in them and reward their loyalty. Over the long haul, it also made financial sense.

If you can neither find an internal position nor help people retool (or maybe they don’t want to retool) then it’s important that you do your best in sponsoring them outside the company. Find out how to best formulate a letter of recommendation or serve as a reference. Allow them access to your resources where possible. Provide flex time as they work their final few weeks. And finally, show them their due respect by assuming that they’ll eventually find a match and land on their feet. As long as you’re doing your level best to give your employees a chance to fit and you consistently treat them with dignity, there is no reason to feel unethical or harsh solely on the basis of the fact that you had to let someone go.

Good Luck!

Kerry Patterson

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For tips on talking about tough topics, see Chapter 7 (STATE My Path) of the book “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”

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5. Send Your Questions
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Submit your question to the authors of "Crucial Conversations" and “Crucial Confrontations” at www.vitalsmarts.com/CrucialSkills/FreeStuff/AskAnAuthor/
Or e-mail it to questions@vitalsmarts.com.

We do our best to answer those questions that reflect the interests of our readers. For more about the authors of "Crucial Conversations," visit http://www.vitalsmarts.com/CrucialSkills/Product/TheAuthors.aspx

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6. Where Can I Learn More?
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Special Author Events
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Don't miss your opportunity to learn more about Crucial Skills by attending a special author event where one of the authors will teach you to handle crucial situations well and get the results you want.

For details about each author event and to register online, visit www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=Introductory%20Workshop

Web Seminars
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Join the authors of "Crucial Conversations" and “Crucial Confrontations in a free web seminar as follows:

- May 18, 1:00-2:15 P.M. (Eastern) (“Crucial Conversations” Overview)
- May 25, 1:00-2:15 P.M. (Eastern) (“Crucial Confrontations” Overview)

Open Enrollment Training
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Crucial Skills Training offers intensive skills training in our principles and methods. For in-house training conducted by your staff or one of our professional facilitators, contact your VitalSmarts representative. Open enrollment courses are also available as follows:

Crucial Conversations:

- May 10-11, Baltimore, MD*
- May 10-11, Troy, MI *
- May 10-11, Palo Alto, CA
- May 10-11, Greenwood Village (Denver), CO *
- May 17-18, Chicago, IL*
- May 24-25, Salt Lake City, UT*
- June 14-15, Dallas Ft. Worth, TX*
- June 21-22, Irvine, CA*
- June 21-22, Arlington, VA*
- June 21-22, Minneapolis-Bloomington, MN
- June 21-22, Cleveland, OH*

Crucial Confrontations:

- June 14-15, Irvine, CA*
- June 20-21, Detroit (Beverly Hills), MI*
- June 21-22, Greenwood Village (Denver), CO*
- July 12-13, Baltimore, MD

Additional course dates are available at www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=Training

*Trainer certification is also offered directly following most Training. For more information or to sign up, contact your VitalSmarts representative or visit www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=t

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