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CRUCIAL™ SKILLS REMINDER
June 29, 2005
Volume 3, Issue 25
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IN THIS ISSUE

1. Quote of the Week
2. Tip of the Week
3. FREE "Crucial Confrontations" Microsoft(R) Live Seminar
4. Crucial Skills News: “Crucial Conversations” a BusinessWeek Bestseller
5. New Feature: Before and After
6. New Feature: Letters to the Editor
7. Send Your Questions
8. Where Can I Learn More?

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1. Quote of the Week
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“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.”

- Hermann Hesse

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2. Tip of the Week
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Watch for Safety Violations

As you watch both the content and the process of an interaction, pay special attention to one condition that fosters dialogue--watch for safety. To do so, try asking yourself, “is it safe for others to express their views, even if they differ from popular opinion? Are people pulling back or feeling the need to attack? Are individuals breaking into camps with winners and losers?”

Anything that prevents opinions, facts, theories, and feelings from flowing into the Pool of Shared Meaning is a threat to dialogue. And nothing hinders the flow more than an unsafe environment.

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3. FREE "Crucial Confrontations" Microsoft(R) Live Seminar
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Learn about Crucial Confrontations with Joseph Grenny in a FREE Microsoft Live Seminar

July 14, 2005
9:00AM - 10:00AM Pacific Time (US & Canada)
12:00PM - 1:00PM Eastern Time (US & Canada)

Speaker: Joseph Grenny, President, Coauthor, VitalSmarts, L.C.

Never Walk Away From Another Conflict Again! Sharpen your skills for dealing with tough situations and learn techniques to mend relationships after expectations are unmet. Joseph Grenny, coauthor of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller "Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior" shares best practices for dealing with disappointments and for successfully resolving controversial and complex issues.

For more information and to enroll in this FREE Microsoft Live Seminar, please visit
http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=48667&event_id=371&signupkey=2659

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4. Crucial Skills News: “Crucial Conversations” a BusinessWeek bestseller
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"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High" has made the BusinessWeek bestseller list again!

Thanks to all of our readers for your continued support! Check it out online at:

http://www.businessweek.com/@@n2xgP4UQZWBgDhsA/magazine/content/05_27/b3941141.htm

or

http://www.businessweek.com/pdfs/2005/0527_bestsell.pdf

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5. New Feature: Before and After
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This new monthly feature will share real experiences from readers who have used Crucial Skills to overcome issues that were keeping them from getting the results they wanted. Please read our feature story below.

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“How do you spell R.E.S.P.E.C.T?”
By Lisa Salmon, a reader from Leichhardt, Australia

BEFORE

I teach primary-aged children English. I was putting in time and effort to develop trust in my class and as a result students were learning and engaging with the material. I almost quit this job because each week the school Headmaster would storm into my class, scream at the kids, and disrupt my lesson. Even though his behavior was upsetting me and the kids and undermining my hard work, I was scared to say anything because he was my boss. However, his actions continued to bother me and caused me to experience both silence--wanting to quit and feeling powerless to say anything--and violence--thinking that telling him exactly what his errors were would resolve the issue.

AFTER

I realized I needed to explore a mature way to deal with the situation. I thought about what the Headmaster’s purpose might be. I realized he had employed me as a qualified teacher and should respect me for my effort and responsibility to maintain a healthy learning environment. So, when he came in ready to do his thing, I stopped him and said, "I realize you want to speak with the children, please wait until the end of the lesson." I was firm, clear, and respectful. He said "Ah, sure" and left without further ado! When he returned to give his announcement he did so with a soft and respectful voice. There was an instant change. I saw no animosity or anger in him. One of the students asked for his help and he was kind, gentle, and welcoming toward the child. He played with him! The Headmaster laughed! This turnaround is far more than I could have hoped for and is truly worth celebrating.

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To submit your story:

"Before and After" submissions may not exceed 300 words. All submissions will be edited for length, clarity, grammar, and taste and may be republished in any format. Submissions should be in plain text and not include attachments. All submissions must include the writer's e-mail address and a day phone number (for verification, not publication). We don't promise publication, and all submissions become the property of VitalSmarts, L.C.

Please send your stories to beforeandafter@vitalsmarts.com. Please include "BEFORE AND AFTER" in the subject line of your e-mail.

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6. New Feature: Letters to the Editor
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Send us your comments, reactions, and opinions on content in the Crucial Skills Reminder. We'll publish letters once a month for others to read.

The editors of the Crucial Skills Reminder welcome expressions of all views. "Letters to the Editor" submissions may not exceed 250 words. All submissions will be edited for length, clarity, grammar, and taste and may be republished in any format. Submissions should be in plain text and not include attachments. All submissions must include the writer's e-mail address and a day phone number (for verification, not publication). We don't promise publication, and all submissions become the property of VitalSmarts, L.C.

Please send your letters to letters@vitalsmarts.com and include "LETTERS" in the subject line of your e-mail.

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7. Send Your Questions
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Submit your question to the authors of "Crucial Conversations" and “Crucial Confrontations” at www.vitalsmarts.com/CrucialSkills/FreeStuff/AskAnAuthor/
Or e-mail it to questions@vitalsmarts.com.

We do our best to answer those questions that reflect the interests of our readers. For more about the authors of "Crucial Conversations," visit
http://www.vitalsmarts.com/CrucialSkills/Product/TheAuthors.aspx

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8. Where Can I Learn More?
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Web Seminars
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Join the authors of "Crucial Conversations" and “Crucial Confrontations in a free web seminar as follows:

Crucial Conversations

- July 13, 1-2:15 p.m. (Eastern) (custom healthcare seminar)
- July 28, 1-2:15 p.m. (Eastern) (general overview)

Crucial Confrontations

- July 20, 1-2:15 p.m. (Eastern) (general overview)

For details about each Web Seminar and to register online, visit
www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=Webinars

Open Enrollment Training
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Crucial Skills Training offers intensive skills training in our principles and methods. For in-house training conducted by your staff or one of our professional facilitators, contact your VitalSmarts representative. Open enrollment courses are also available as follows:

Crucial Conversations:

- August 1-2, Denver (Greenwood Village), CO*
- August 23-24, Chicago, IL*
- August 24-25, Baltimore, MD
- September 13-14, Irvine, CA*
- September 19-20, Detroit (Beverly Hills), MI*
- September 20-21, Dallas Ft Worth, TX*

Crucial Confrontations:

- July 12-13, Baltimore, MD*
- August 23-24, Dallas Ft. Worth, TX*
- September 13-14, Denver (Greenwood Village), CO*
- September 19-20, Phoenix, AZ*

Additional course dates are available at
www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=Training

*Trainer certification is also offered directly following most Training. For more information or to sign up, contact your VitalSmarts representative or visit
www.vitalsmarts.com/Events/?s=All&c=t

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Questions, feedback, or information you would like to see? Send an e-mail to editor@vitalsmarts.com

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